Monday, August 23, 2010

5 Ways to Impove Your Marriage Today

"Marriage  is intended to bring joy.
  The married life is meant to be the happiest, fullest, purest, richest life. 
It is God’s own ideal of completeness. 
If in any use it fails to be a blessing and to yield joy, and a richer, fuller life, 
the fault cannot be with the institution itself,
but with those who, under its shadow, fail to fulfill its conditions.” 
J.R. Miller, Homemaking pg 13

I adore Chocolate pie.
  For years I thought that Cirus Oleary’s chocolate pie was the best of the best.
  And then, I had a real chocolate pie, made only with milk chocolate and cream.
  It was heavenly. 
The taste far exceeded the former favorite. 
I was astounded.
  I couldn’t believe chocolate pie could be so good. 
Such a pure chocolate flavor, no artificial aftertaste, just simple creamy chocolate. 
My eyes were opened to purity of ingredients, thus,
I became aware of a synthetic taste in my foods.
  I began to feel sympathetic toward people who adored Cirus O'leary pie,
the poor things didn’t even know what they are missing by partaking in it. 
They had no clue how good chocolate pie could be.


This , too, is how I feel about marriage God’s way. 
God has been gracious to Brian and I,
and allowed us to enjoy a unified and abundantly blessed relationship,
the way He intended for marriage to work. 
A husband and wife’s highest priority, after God, are to each other.  
The two are to live for each other. 
Life is to be lost for life. 
Every other interest is thenceforth secondary to the home interest. 
Then, the two become, in the fullest truest sense, one.
  Somehow, many people today have been duped into believing that what they have,
like a synthetic made pie, is the best it can get, 
when God intended for their marriage to be so much more. 
I wish I could help them to taste and see the pure and excellent taste of an unabashedly intimate,
romantic, unified husband-wife relationship.
 
God has taught us in our 21 years of bliss some very simple everyday actions that keep us living in harmony with one another, in honor preferring one another, the way the Bible teaches.
1.  Our number one goal in our marriage is to serve one another.  Every day we look for ways we can be a blessing to each other.  Often we will just ask:  “How can I be a help to you today?”
2.  Pray for and with one another.  I pray for my husband every morning.  I follow a list of “31 days of prayer for your husband” to help me get going.  Praying for one another softens the heart. Praying with one another unifies the heart.
3.  We work to stay on the ‘same page’ mentally.  We read the same books, listen to the same sermons, and make a deliberate effort to have the same goals, working toward them together.  His agenda becomes my agenda, his calling becomes my calling, as God directs me to do in His Word, rather than me doing my own thing.  The world has lied to women regarding this, they think they won’t be happy if they give up their aspirations, but nothing could be further from the truth.  A wife is only truly happy when she has given up all of herself in sacrificial love for her husband, becoming his helpmeet, and the support behind him to enable him to be great.  There is no joy of fulfillment so great as this.  It is God’s way, His plan, why wouldn’t it be the best of the best?
4.  We have communication meetings.  Every Sunday afternoon or Monday morning, we go over the week’s schedule together, making note of needs and desires for how each day will play out.  This has been a huge help to us, and I can’t say enough about spending a little time preparing for your week. It has eliminated so much mis-communication and stress; a very worthwhile venture, one that helps tremendously to stay together though out the week.
5. Look for ways to love on each other.  My husband is a touch oriented kind of guy, so I pay careful attention to slide a hand over his back as I pass by, hold his hand when I can, sit close to him, in every opportunity I make an effort to reach out to him in this way.  He too, knows my “love language” and thoughtfully loves on me via notes of encouragement, a phone call when we are apart, and words of affirmation that let me know where I stand in his eyes.



These are the "daily bread" of love,
the common courtesy in married life that brings pleasurable thought and genial feeling for one another.
The omission of them only leads to hunger of the heart, where husband and wife slowly grow apart, 
when they so easily could have been nourished and cherished in each others arms, happily ever after.
  The purest, sweetest flavor of married joy is only to be found in following God’s simple recipe, 
which is not in any way unattainable, nor skillfully gained,
it’s only requirement is the surrendering of self for the love of each other,
where there is no lingering aftertaste of the world,
just heavenly delight.

1 comment:

Bob Jackson said...

This is so encouraging! Jeri and I have enjoyed this "wedded bliss" at times, then there were some desert times, when extra (and I mean EXTRA) effort was required to simply stay on track. Fortunately, God matched me with a woman who has helped me-sometimes pushed me- to be the partner and friend I should be! Your posts are always Spirit filled and helpful. Thanks!