Thursday, April 21, 2011

Evolution of a Nurturer

When Anna was a wee one, she clung to me, and me only. 
I remember cooking dinner with her in the front pack, 
canning and sweeping with her in the backpack,
and holding her nearly every waking minute, 
or else she would be "in the depths of despair." 
Looking back, I can see even from the earliest days the path I would take...


I had not grown up loving children, baby sitting,
or having any knowledge of childhood development. 
When Brian and I married, we wanted to have children right away,
and when our first was born, I knew not what to do, 
so I rocked him, 
danced him to sleep,
co-slept with him,
held him all the time, 
and spoiled him rotten.

Well, another baby came along, and another, and my methods didn't change. 
The baby would grow up on my hip, 
sleep with me until they were two, 
and, be delightful toddlers; very responsive and easily trained. 
About the time we had Jim, number 5,
I had evolved to believe my mothering style
as an over achiever nurturer
was not such a bad deal, 
and I liked the way my relationship with our children developed
from the first days on, to those who were then becoming teens.

A few years ago I came to the realization that this nurturing style,
that we had not conscientiously embarked upon, 
was God given,
and I stopped analyzing myself 
for not having babies that would sit in their car seat for hours contentedly, 
or sleep through the night, or passively watch life go by from their blanket.
  I also became aware that not only did I have the desire to nurture our children,
but a great compassion and sympathy came upon me as I watched children, 
of all ages, suffer loneliness from neglect,
and I wanted to bring them under my wing,
bestowing the love of Jesus on them thickly, 
like a child spreading butter and jam on toast...dripping off the sides, and oozing out all over. 
This desire surprised me, and  wondered where it had come from.
I think... the more I understand God's love for me 
the more I wish to mimic that loving-kindness upon children. 
I have changed. 
Evolved so slowly over time that I did not recognize myself. 




God made women to nurture, to uplift and beautify life.  



I was despairing over Bethany playing with a giant T-Rex of her brothers,
and packing a plastic lizard with her everywhere 
until I stopped to watch HOW she was playing. 
I noted that she had wrapped the T-Rex in a blankie and was singing it to sleep in the hallway,
and practicing nursing her lizard. 
It is natural, inborn.

The call to us mothers is to encourage our daughters to nurture and beautify. 
The world sets forth to harden a girl's heart and un-learn the God given. 
I recall being mocked for playing with dolls in the fourth grade.."childish!"
  My peers prompted me to instead be interested in boys.
 Watch out and be wise, O mothers. 




Is there anything sweeter than holding a newborn baby, 
or rocking a small child to sleep?
  "Reading a story aloud with children tucked in all around me," as a friend says,
is one of her great delights in life. 
Such fondnesses are the mark of biblical femininity. 
Let us shamelessly embrace it. 
May God give us grace that overflows our cup,
that we may model it,
passing on a love of nurturing to the next generation.


3 comments:

Melissa said...

Beautiful, Julianne! This warmhearted reminder of what we do,(and the fruit thereof!) is so refreshing! Thank you for posting this.

Lisa said...

I remember when Elizabeth was a little girl and a neighborhood friend would come over to play with his matchbox cars...he would inevitably get disgusted because she didn't know how to play...she was putting all the cars in families, a mommy car, a daddy car, and lots of little baby cars. Thank you for nurturing her these last weeks.
Love,
Lisa

Kristin said...

Julianne,
You know what I love about this post? Is, when we first start out in mothering. We try so hard to listen to all of the books, experts, other parents...to find our way. To be the "perfect" parent. And all along, we really just needed to listen to our own heart. God has place the secret of motherhood in us and we just need to embrace it. Fully. I wish I would of learned sooner. I am a different mother today than I was 20 years ago. A kinder, gentler more patient mother. Thank God.
I love my children. And when the day comes and they are grown and gone I will miss this!