Living Counter Cultural: Femininity

Popular culture has a decidedly feminist bent.

 Recent movies, tv shows and prominent women

 are displaying heroins as 

 tough, 

calloused, 

superior cutthroats. 

 Current cultural trends are directly opposing anything close to Biblical standards.

I hope you realize this and are not one of the many frogs sitting placidly in a pot set to boil. 

 The darkness of sin and evil are sweeping across our nation

at a frightening and sickening pace.

A thinking woman must wonder;  what can I possibly do about it?

You can be a city set on a hill...

just by being who God created you to be.

In this day and age, trying to uphold a biblical standard of femininity will indeed 

set you apart.

When was the last time you saw a woman who looked lovely?

How about watched a mother tenderly communicating to a child?

Have you recently noticed a young girl dressed in  a sweet and wholesome way?

I am sure it wasn't in Walmart.  

Sadly, these are not things we see evident in our society today.

Being a woman created by God is such a privilege.

The gift of our femininity is something we can give both to ourselves and those around us.

I believe that our society is hungering to be transformed by the

 loveliness

 and grace

 of Biblical femininity.....they just don't know it, 

and are looking for everything else to satisfy this thirst.

What better antidote to a violent and pain filled culture

 than warm

 and gentle

feminine strength?

What better cure for poverty and filth

than a love of beauty and a confidence

in one's ability to make things lovely?

What better hope for the future than a

nurturing mother's heart that is

 more concerned for the next generation

than its own selfish desires?

All these qualities:

gentle strength,

love of beauty,

care and nurturing,

 are part of the essence of femininity.

 

As Emily Barnes says so aptly in her book, The Heart of Loveliness: 

 "To me a godly woman is one who possesses inner peace and tranquility; 

 she doesn't have to prove herself to anyone.  

She is strong, and yet she does not use her strength to control or dominate people,

 neither does she depend on recognition from others.

  Hers is an inner contentment and satisfaction based not on accomplishments, position, or authority,

but on a deep awareness of God's eternal and personal love for her. 

 That kind of inner peace, strength confidence and tranquility comes from depending on God; 

 drawing on His wisdom and strength,

 learning to be like Him."  

When this happens in our lives, 

we gradually grow free of anxious competitiveness and aggressiveness.

  We no longer need to prove our worth and value

 because we now how much we are worth in God's sight... 

and then, we are free to reach out in love to others.

"Your beauty should not come from outward adornments such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes, instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight."

1 Peter 3:3,4 

As we set forth to cultivate femininity in our homes, 

let us think not only of ourselves, but of the darkness of the nation creeping in around us.

We are, in part, the answer..

for as we shine forth God's truth, acted out in our lives,

 we will be like a city set on a hill.  

For darkness does not take away light, but only deepens as the light grows dim. 

 Stand strong, therefore, Biblical women,

 and let your light shine.

When homeschooling went from frustrating to beautiful: part 1

The morning was flowing along wonderfully. 

 Our hushed early risers soaked up the fire and coffee
 as the pitter patter of feet one by one emerged from sleepy slumber
 to join us in our morning rituals.
 Snuggling up with the littles under piles of blankets, books and pillows,
we visited,
 read aloud,
 talked about our plans for the day,
enjoying yet another cup of coffee,
happily immersing ourselves in a cozy, lazy hour before the day gets going.
I cherish this hour.
  Such a respite from the hectic pace that all too often befalls us!
Even though I am not a morning person, getting up before the day begins is well worth it,
and it is critical to a non chaotic,  non stressful morning.
Eventually breakfast was pronounced ready.
Our established routine begins the day encircling the table together with these 7 gems,
 giving thanks and enjoying a home cooked breakfast...
today a steaming stack of Joe's pancakes fragrant with real maple syrup and applesauce.
Often we sing a hymn, which helps us focus on higher thoughts rather than on ourselves,
then end with devotions from Proverbs-the book of wisdom-
 so applicable for youth.
The order of the morning proceeded to getting dressed,
children making their beds and a quick tidy of  their room,
bringing down their laundry (if it is their day)
daily chores, and finally reporting ready for morning time.




Poetry, mingled with Americana
kindles inspiration to finish our morning time with Great Explorers. 
 Sufficient coffee having been consumed,
 we are ready for Math, where each student works on their figures and I,
still in my rocking chair,
 am ready to lend a hand when they get stuck.
 After an hour of math, everyone scatters to a cozy nook for a pleasant hour of reading,
 then on to Bible memorization, each child pacing about learning their verses..
some with English accents, some rhythmically swinging while quoting their text.
 During this time I start a load of laundry and prepare a simple lunch.
This is how it works everyday.
 Smoothly, orderly, with much enjoyment and sweetness.
One of our older children says that they wish I had schooled like this when they were young.
 I do too, believe me!
It is beautiful.

But is was not always so.
 Our first 10 years of homeschooling were grueling, yelling, frustrated, overwhelming years
 that I determinedly trudged through.
Somewhere, there was a turn of a corner.

 I have been pondering just how it happened.
 What was it that rocked our world so much
as to turn a driven woman into a nurturing mama?, I asked myself.

 And there, in the question, was the answer.

Nurturing.

I have been talking about it all along...if one reads back through the years.
 But I have not gathered all my thoughts in one place-
 until now.

Webster's defines nurturing as
 "providing loving care and attention to, 
the act of educating, developing, nourishing, feeding.
That which promotes growth."
The key here, I think, is what kind of care.
LOVING care.
Loving care says with a smile, "good morning, dear."
Loving care asks "what can I do for you?"
Loving care goes out of the way to feed....
heart, soul, and mind, and stomach.
It does not leave children to fend for themselves in any way.
How can I say that with conviction?
  Because we are to be imitators of God,
 and He never, never leaves us to fend for ourselves.
 EVER.

With loving care he tends to all that we need, and goes above and beyond.
He did not just provide food.
 He provided amazing, diverse, pleasant, satisfying food, and that in abundance.
(likewise we for our children)
He does not drag us along.  He tenderly leads us.
(by His strength, shall we tenderly lead and guide our children)
He did not give us a dry barren place to live.
He created a planet full of incredible beauty, full of unimaginable discoveries and delights.
(Our homes should reflect this)
He does not just observe from above, He is fully present, actively involved with us all the time.
(this is the trademark of a nurturing mama)

I think our corner appeared
 after a reviving and refreshing home school conference,
 we were convinced that our home life should take a dramatic reconstruction.
Our eyes were opened to the sacredness and responsibility 
we carry as parents.
 It is a great thing to take these tender lives, rich with so many possibilities,
and be responsible before God for their shaping and training and building of character.
We are the builders of the home.
  Our home will be what we make it. 
 Its tone,
 its atmosphere,
its spirit,
 its influence will be derived from us, the parents.
Having been thus humbled, and well, scared to death,
we repented before our children and asked them to forgive us,
and shared with them that we wanted our home to change,
 to reflect God and his character instead of the world's sad model.
Eagerly they agreed.
 There were many hugs and tears...and then, much prayer for how to begin.
J.R. Miller's old, old book, "Homemaking"  popped off the shelf at us
 and quickly became  indispensable...still is.
(please, please, please read it!)

And so,
Intentionally, I created a plan to begin our day with nurturing,
(I light a candle, we snuggle together, often with tender music)
 to continue with nurturing,
(we eat breakfast and have devotions, read aloud)
and end with nurturing.
(often reading aloud, prayers and tucking in)
  Know what's in the middle?  Nurturing.
(daily teatime, schoolwork together with no yelling, a meaningful dinner, 
all woven together with words of encouragement and affirmation)

Sprinkling loving acts of care and kindness
 that enrich and ennoble our lives throughout our day
 was the first step in transforming our home school into something beautiful,

 something we would all look forward to,
something just plain wonderful.

Kind words,
 smiles all around,
 candles, music, cuddles and hugs,
 listening,
 patient teaching and instruction,
devotions,
 working together,
 praying together,
singing together,
reading aloud, tea time, one on one time,
a well set table,
 preparing a good meal,
taking walks together,
taking time to tuck children in at night,
 anything that makes a person feel special-
 these habits are nurturing and uplifting.

Later, I read Sally Clarkson's book, The Life Giving Home.
Very inspiring.  I highly recommend it.
Even just contemplating the title is a place to begin.
What would a "life giving home" look like?
I believe it is a home where we honor one another with our words, our time, our talents.
   A place where we focus on giving and trust that Lord will fill us back up again.

And, I believe nurturing, or "life-giving" is just what women were made for.
 We are naturals.
 Sure, it will take a bit of practice to really get your nurturing rolling.
But, backed by prayer and a promise that God will see you through,
 you can begin.
You see, the nurturing is for you, too.  It will lift you up as well.
Then, your home school, and home life may just turn a corner.

Boy Mom, Morning Rituals, Starting the Day Right

The cold wet air of February awakened my senses early, 

too early.

Yet reluctant to leave that lovely deep sleep I had been enjoying, I lingered. 

 Not a morning person, to say the least. 

 My cheerful daughter popped her head in the room to see if I would like a cup of coffee, 

and I heard the stirrings of the children: 

someone making breakfast...oh yes, today would be Jim's day. 

 I could hear the muffled giggles and squeals from Olivia and Gabe

 along with a rhythmic bump on the wall....

so surmising they are swinging in the hammock with the cat. 

 The other boys are doing the outside chores:

 firewood, chickens and other animals, starting the generator,

 and they have noises too,

usually shooting and crashing sounds,

 because, in their minds, 

they are ever in a battle-

 saving the day as all around them danger and evils loom. 

 We have 5 boys, you  know...these boy noises

 have been an ever present part of our married life, which is now nearly 29 years. 

 These boys of ours may be wild men and warriors outdoors, 

but once they cross the threshold of our cabin, 

the boy noises cease, and they are now gentlemen,

 respecting mama's need for war to stay outside.

The clatter of dishes gets me up, finally.

  Someone is setting the table, breakfast will be soon.

  All the happy clamor of our morning routines are a joy to my soul.

  I light the candles, 

we say grace,

 eat together, 

Daddy reads the Bible,

 we sing a hymn.

  Its a little early for me to sing, but I warble out a joyful song and nobody seems to mind.

  The day has begun.

  Daddy is off to the office, the older children have their work and schooling.

  I, with the younger four, gather in the living room in front of the fire

 for our morning time together.  

Poetry, Americana, and Great Explorers enliven our minds

 and give me another chance at a cup of coffee before real brain activity begins. 

Though not a morning person,  our morning rituals,

the companionship, the cheerfulness all sings to my soul,

 stirring in my heart gratitude for God's goodness, for family, for another day. 

It is the sweet and gentle start I need.

They need.

 Soon, math, reading and Bible will be completed, 

and with lunch, I will send the boys,

 and girls too, 

outside for a few hours of boy noises before continuing our school day. 

 They will come tromping in wet, muddy, swaggering, 

boasting of their conquests as we have tea and goodies. 

 I will read to them The Willows In Winter for a good long while as they settle down.

 As afternoon wears on, and all subjects are accomplished, 

when the frig and the pantry have been thoroughly pillaged, 

light has faded

 and so the forging of knives,

 the tinkering on a truck,

 the slaying of would- be assailants has come to an end,

 then, our evening begins 

and talk of current events,

 future plans of what to be when they grow up,

 games of chess and checkers,

 dinner,

 then second dinner before bedtime, 

and thus ends our day.

 This boy mom expires early and sleeps hard.

Turns out, I am not much of a night person either. 

But, then too, raising boys is hard work.

 But isn't it so true that that which is so tiresomely accomplished is worth the most?  

I would do it all over again in a heartbeat.

  All the dirt, mud, frogs, worms, stitches, noise, and exasperation, 

its worth all my whitening hair and then some.

 I love raising boys.

  I adore my sons, especially when they cook breakfast!

The Necessity of Afternoon Tea

"Winter is the time for comfort, for good food and warmth,

 for the touch of a friendly hand and for a talk beside the fire:  it is the time for home."

- Dame Edith Sitwell

I like this quote, but I think I could replace "winter" with "teatime."

Teatime is the time for comfort, for good food and warmth,
for the touch of a friendly hand and for talk beside the fire;
 it is the time for home.

 Yes, that suits just fine.

My favorite part of the  day comes around 2:30 every afternoon. 

 It is that of tea time at our home. 

 The children most likely have been rambling about the woods, 

and are glad for a warming cup of goodness,

 followed by some sort of treat to keep the famished over until dinner.

This tradition, I unabashedly admit,

 I stole from my dear friend, Enola Gay, 

whose home life has inspired me so much over the years we have been friends. 

 Tea time is more for the soul than the goodies,

 although goodies are always appreciated,
like these light Honey Lemon Tea cakes Jim baked up.

Our family has a few favorite herbal teas and a few black teas in which we savor.

  Sometimes we make a pot, other times we each pick our own bagged variety.

Sometimes we make special lovely treats, and sometimes we just share fresh fruit.

  Either way, afternoon tea set by our fireside,

 especially on days like today,

 when the rain and snow mix is pouring down amid occasional gusts of a cold wind, 

bring together all of my favorite aspects of the season...

the warmth of curling up by the fire, 

the aroma of a good tea  (such as Evening In Missoula or Market Spice),

 the children's chatter about their adventures, 

the sharing of our plans for the evening, 

the coziness of candles lit just for tea time.

..it all speaks to me- warms my heart,

 which in turn, encourages me to soldier on through the second half of the day.

Honey Lemon Tea Cakes

1/3 c. soft butter
1/2 c. honey
1 egg
2 tsp vanilla extract
1 c. flour
1 1/2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
1/3 c milk
2 Tbsp lemon juice
Mix well.  Pour into greased muffin cups.  Bake at 350 for 15 minutes.
Top with 2 Tbsp butter and a sprinkling of sugar.
Cool in Frig before serving.

Enjoy with friendly hearts and a fine cup of tea!

Blessings,
Julianne

Gentling Mama: Heavenly, Herbal Healing

I have a confession.

 I am often times, just too tightly wound. 

 I can get anxious easily. 

 If I were a horse, I would be labeled "high strung."

The last 5 years I have worked very hard to relax, loosen up, trust God, 

and maintain a gentle and quiet spirit.  

But, it does not come naturally to me.  

It is a battle.

I often see myself winning this battle now that I am older 

(I just had a birthday, and wow! am I feeling older!).  

But, I do not ALWAYS win.

This week has seen extra challenges for me, 

and I have not met them with a gentle and gracious spirit.

Despite my prayers, my time alone with God, my plea for His peace, 

I think my blood pressure its up quite a bit.  

I have felt worry and anxiety creeping in, and with it, irritability- a sure sign of stressed not managed.

It is high time to gentle mama, .....again.

I spent the morning allowing the children to run out side while I read the psalms, 

played serene music, and talked to the Lord. 

The healing balm of uninterrupted time with my Heavenly Father did it's work to my heart.  

Seeking forgiveness for allowing the poisons of pride, tension, and anxiety to be effective in my life, 

I could feel the burden lifted, as if 10 lbs had been removed from my shoulders...

the sigh escaping bringing chills to my arms. 

 Now to repair my nerves.

 I went to the kitchen seeking herbal healing.  

Knowing my weakness, my cupboard is stocked with soothing herbs. 

 Four of these, I combine to make Preacher's Passion tea.
(equal parts of chamomile, passionflower, peppermint, and oat straw)

 I may rename it "Calming Mama" tea.
(smile)  

Sarah Reeves is reciting Psalm 139 in the background.

The hot brew ministers to my body.  Sarah Reeves speaks to my soul.

 Next, I smothered my skin in a recent gift of lavender lotion from my sweet friend,
Enola Gay, 

who made a basket  of natural products for my birthday.
Lavender is a calming herb.  I often put a few drops in my dishwater, just cuz'.

If I find myself overly emotional, I would treat myself to a dropper of Valerian;
a calming herb which, in tincture form, is effective instantly, Praise the Lord!
  

Lastly, if at all possible, (it is not today)
I will take a therapeutic walk in the great outdoors of Idaho. 

Sometimes my husband has to remind me that taking this time is of utmost importance. 

My tension effects everyone in the family,
dog included.
However, yelling at my self to "BE STILL MY SOUL!" is never really all that helpful.
That high strung horse has to be soothed and talked to in a still, small voice.
We mama's need quiet time.... and I know just where to find that voice.....

A little maintenance goes a long ways.

Thankfully,
I have had the time today to dress my

battle wounds an resume duty.
I may limp a bit yet,
but I have whole pot of that tea,
and many more psalms and prayer times to pepper my day with.

Humbly Yours,
Julianne

Femininity

As the darkness of sin and evil seem to be sweeping across our nation,

a thinking woman must wonder;

what can I possibly do about it?

You can be a city set on a hill...

just by being who God created you to be.

Here are some thoughts inspired by Emily Barnes:

Being a woman created by God is such a privilege,

and the gift of our femininity

is something we can give both to ourselves and those around us.

I believe that our society is hungering to be transformed by the

 loveliness

 and grace

 of Biblical femininity.

What better antidote to a violent and pain filled culture

 than warm

 and gentle

feminine strength?

What better cure for poverty and filth

than a love of beauty and a confidence

in one's ability to make things lovely?

What better hope for the future than a

nurturing mother's heart that is

 more concerned for the next generation

than its own selfish desires?

All these qualities:

gentle strength,

love of beauty,

care and nurturing,

 are part of the essence of femininity.

"In quietness and trust is your strength."  Isaiah 30:15

 

As Emily Barnes says so aptly in her book, The Heart of Loveliness: 

 "To me a godly woman is one who possesses inner peace and tranquility; 

 she doesn't have to prove herself to anyone.  

She is strong, and yet she does not use her strength to control or dominate people,

 neither does she depend on recognition from others.

  Hers is an inner contentment and satisfaction based not on accomplishments, position, or authority,

but on a deep awareness of God's eternal and personal love for her. 

 That kind of inner peace, strength confidence and tranquility comes from depending on God; 

 drawing on His wisdom and strength,

 learning to be like Him.  

When this happens in our lives, 

we gradually grow free of anxious competitiveness and aggressiveness.

  We no longer need to prove our worth and value

 because we now how much we are worth in God's sight... 

and then, we are free to reach out in love to others.

"Your beauty should not come from outward adornments such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes, instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight."

1 Peter 3:3,4 

As we set forth to cultivate femininity in our homes, 

let us think not only of ourselves, but of the darkness of the nation creeping in around us.

We are, in part, the answer..

for as we shine forth God's truth, acted out in our lives,

 we will be like a city set on a hill.  

For darkness does not take away light, but only deepens as the light grows dim. 

 Stand strong, therefore, Biblical women,

 and let your light shine.

Matthew 5:14-16

Favorite Quotes for Parenting

 "Children's minds are like gelatin;

 you've got to put in all the good stuff before it sets"

-unknown

"I like to think of my children's souls like a treasure chest 

and have sought to fill their souls with substance of excellence,

 beauty, life changing thoughts and ideas, the best books, 

the most beautiful stores and literature, fine music and concerts,

 science and creation, loving, sacrifice, serving, 

great people and ministry opportunities."  

-Sally Clarkston

"A true home is set up so that all its life is ordered for definite purpose of training, building up
and sending out human lives fashioned into symmetry,
filled with lofty aspirations, governed by principles of rectitude and honor
 and fitted to enter upon the duties and struggles of life with wisdom and strength."
-JR. Miller

 These are some of  the thoughts that inspire me and fill me with motivation to keep on keeping on,
to do the hard things when I feel like giving up or giving in.
I hope they are of encouragement to you too.

Wintery Walk

Every afternoon we can watch the deer crossing the meadow just below the house.

This day I counted 17.

With beautiful blue sky overhead,

my dear sweet husband insisted I get out for a walk down the freshly plowed driveway.  

Ahh it was good. 

I do love a walk in the afternoon. 

Refreshed, I am ready to face the rest of the day,

the demands of the little ones,

the responsibilities of so many tender hearts. 

It is easy to feel overwhelmed, 

torn in 10 different directions with the needs of those I live with.

  But I know in Whom my strength is, 

and I know that though my flesh fails, God is the strength of my heart. 

I am reminded that for eternity's sake, I must persevere when I feel like giving up.
And too, that if I have a clean house and homemade bread,
but have not love:  kindness and patience and gentleness...
I am not getting anywhere, I am accomplishing nothing.

As I walk through the door,
there they are,
the adorable little ones clamoring for my attention, 

all of them at once. 

How I can get grumpy with such lovable, wonderful children is suddenly a mystery.

Nearly every day we bake something or other to keep the littles from starving in midafternoon,
or so they claim.
Inticed by the aroma of fresh baked cookies,
Gabe comes out of his fort,
which today, he says, is Africa.

It is so important that we live each and every day to the full,
making the most of every moment.
Which means not giving in to the constant temptation to be snippy, grumpy, or irritable.
I am grateful for this perspective.
I know that the mother's role in the home is powerful,
I know that every moment matters.
and yet, I find I need that refreshing,
that time to get ahold of my attitude and renew my focus.

 This mama of littles is often drained by the challenges and relentlessness of parenting.
  But,  I am thankful that a mama's love is also instantly recharged
with a heartfelt smile from her child,
or a glance at the sleeping babe,
or the wet slobbery kiss of a three year old.

I have heard it said that the greatest reward for our work
is not what we get paid for it,
but what we become by it.
Thus, the Lord sanctifies me through my children,
and that is just one more reason they are a blessing.

 

It is amazing what a little walk can do.

A Quiet Day

Today is one of those very rare occassions;

it is a nice, quiet day,

as opposed to our usual nice and loud, busy day. 

Several family members are out and about this weekend, 

leaving me with only 5 children home, 10 yrs and under.

  I chuckle at this, because when I first only had 5 children,

I was almost always overwhelmed with life, and now, 5 seems so simple and quiet.

  It is especially quiet just now since the three youngest 

have made nests here and there to snuggle down for a long winter nap.

Olivia, now still as a bug asleep on my lap, has been especially busy today,

taking dirt out of our poor abused Amaryllis,

strewing an entire package of diaper wipes across the house,

finding herself an arms length of toilet paper and taring it into tiny little pieces,

and attempting to climb just about everything.

  All the time jabbering away in her own little language.

Every once in a while an intelligible word escapes.  I question her and her word,

she grins and giggles, and goes on with her toilet paper.

 Today, I don't mind, as long as she is safe and happy, I will gladly pick it up later.

With cousins here for the weekend to play with, 

the boys have spent much of the day outside, playing games on the frozen pond.

  Rose is babysitting this afternoon,

Anna at a friend's house,

and John has been gone for over two weeks.

  Even daddy is out of town for a few days, so you see, it is strangely still,

and I have endeavored to relax and do nothing,

except the absolutely necessary,

which of course means changing diapers, making and eating cinnamon rolls, and drinking tea.

 

John, you see, is adventuring with a friend out in the wild, trapping for bobcat.  

They have set up camp some hours from here, with 74 miles of trap line. 

Reports are that they are doing fine, with 6 coyotes and 4 bobcat between them thus far. 

They will remain out for another week or two. 

Makes me cold just thinking about it! 

I love the outdoors, but, with nighttime temperatures in the single digits,

I will gladly crawl underneath my down comforter each night in my warm house 

and give thanks that I am not living underneath a tarp.

Happily and contentedly stuck here in the rocker next to the fire,

baby asleep on my lap, with plenty of time to ponder,

I find myself gathering a list of things to be thankful for.

  

There is always something, if one looks.

  Fuzzy socks on cold wood floors,

candles lit on the coffee table-a feast for the eyes,

chubby little fingerprints on the windows, 

a restful day.

All those little things are worth listing, 

just as much as the big ones, 

such as a loving God who has my best interest in mind,

a savior who atoned for me,

a God who forgives again and again, 

a Creator who gives hope to everyone who believes.  

Rocking in the growing darkness, the list goes on and on....