The Hush of Quiet... Do You Hear It?

There is something so settling and calming in studying God's magnificent creation. 

The world out our door hushed in early morning fog, 

blanketing the valley in it's gentle whisper to be still. 

So peaceful and quiet, 

doesn't it just beckon your soul to take retreat and linger in such a fashion

until you are refreshed, revived, and recharged.

A nasty cold bug has been systematically making the rounds through our home this last week.
 Mercifully, the Lord has kept this pregnant mama from catching it. 

I alone.

  Isn't that just like a loving Father?

  I am so awed that He would care of such a little thing.

  Our poor daddy got the worst of it though,

and for days coughed so violently I thought he would surely pass out. 

A preacher doesn't often get the opportunity to stay home from a Sunday because he is sick. 

Many times, our daddy has preached with fever,

heading out the back door when the sermon was over. 

This last Sunday the Lord allowed his voice to hold out through the sermon,

but daddy was done in by the time church was over. 

So we did something utterly wonderful Sunday afternoon. 

Nothing. 

We did not do anything, the whole rest of the day.  

The little ones and mama and daddy had a nap,

and then we hung out in our room doing nothing,

with the children popping in to visit and hang out from time to time.

  Daddy certainly needed the rest, as was proven by how much better he felt the next day.

When illness comes to the family home, so often we fight against it, 

not willing that it should take over our schedules, deadlines, appointments. 

But there it is, begging us to be still and rest,

to take time to be quiet and "belax" as Miss Bethany says. 

Simply flowing with what life brings you, listening when it cautions you to hush,

rest, linger in quietness until you are well again. 

Such an out look summons one to snuggle down and breath in the refreshment needed, 

the time is unalterably provided.   

These autumn evenings of early dark call to me in much the same way.

  Doing nothing, allowing the after dinner hours to be restful and relaxing,

preparing me for another day.

  I am slow and easily tuckered out these days.  

The children appreciate just having mama around to talk to, 

cuddle up with, or sing with. 

We don't have to DO anything. 

The house is quiet and peace-like,

as much as you can imagine with 9 children here about. 

Some drawing at the table, some playing tea, some reading,

usually someone staring into the refrigerator, 

some playing with the puppy. 

Propping up my feet, I observe their cuteness, marvel at their play, visit, and just be. 

So unlike me. 

Yet this is what life is calling me to engage in at this season in my life. 

Soon the hushed time will end and we will all be bustling about again. 

But this time is to be enjoyed, welcomed, embraced. 

My flesh and nesty-ness has wanted to fight against it. 

Slowly I am learning to flow with it instead. 

As I flex with this short phase, I find my soul is calmed yet more and more.

  There is still a great deal left to be stilled, quieted, gentled,

but as I inch my way toward the time for birthing this wee one,

I  also am inching my way along the road toward a quiet spirit. 

Neither aspect has been particularly easy,

but then, they say that the things in life that are worth the most are never easy. 

I am extremely grateful for how patiently and gently the Lord teaches me day after day. 

Like gazing upon his beautiful creation,

his compassionate care settles my soul.  

The Rules of Our Home

In 1996, we decided that we needed to establish some simple, straightforward rules for our home.  

We wanted to create clear, defined boundaries for our family.

From here, we would know when to discipline, 

and the children would know the standard. 

After much thought, prayer, and searching the Scripture, 

These are what we thought covered all the bases:

1. "Children obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right." 
Eph. 6:1

2. "Be kind and loving to each other."  Eph 4:32

3.  "Keep your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking lies."  Prov. 4:24

Our theory was that if a child adhered to these these rules,

they would be living with their siblings in a God honoring manner,

and would not likely be getting into much trouble.

We wrote each rule in calligraphy on an 8x10 paper and had them laminated. 

These we placed at the children's eye level on a prominent wall in our home. 

When a rule was broken, we would go to the wall and remind the child of the rules of our home, 

notice which one was broken,

and then proceed with whatever needed to happen. 

It did not take long for them to catch on,

learn the verses, and respond in their own thinking. 

Often we would overhear one child exhorting another to keep the rules.

  It has worked well for us. 

I like the fact that they are pure Scripture, and therefore, God's rules,

holding much more authority than something we ourselves could come up with.

 

As with many things that we start out greatly enthusiastic about,

sometimes we lose focus and motivation along the way. 

I was just reminded today that I misplaced our rules when we moved,

and so they have not been hanging on our wall for 8 months now. 

With little ones in training, needing to know their boundaries,

I simply must recreate the papers, 

since I cannot find the originals, and get them on the wall again.  

By hiding God's Word in our hearts,
and in the hearts of our children,

giving them concrete boundaries,

and loving them,
loving them,
loving them, 

we hope to maintain a balance in raising them up in the nurture and admonition
of the Lord.

Helping Your Child Succeed

Welcome to our practical Saturday post for large family living.  

This is when and where we share some practical things 

that have helped us along the way of raising our large family. 

 These are things I wish I would have known when we were struggling to adjust to a larger family, or at about child #5. 

Today, I thought I would recommend a book that has been a great help to me. 

  Vickie Farris and her daughter, Jayme, wrote a book together titled, “A Mom Just Like You.”

  Michael and Vickie Farris have 10 children. 

In her book, Vickie talks very practically about how she has learned to survive and thrive

raising and homeschooling ten children. 

There are many things that I gleaned from this book the first time I read it,

and I continue to re read it every so often and apply or re apply

practical insights from Vickie to my own life.

The one thing that has stuck with me the most

is the need to find time in every day to relate one on one with each child
as an individual. 

  Vickie talks in length about how she does this. 

I can see the need, especially in large families,

for connecting with each child daily, weekly, and spending special times together as well.

 
I am reminded of this need as exemplified in the movie “Cheaper by the Dozen”

where quiet Mark gets rather lost in his large family, 

overlooked because he is different and not as colorful a personality as his siblings. 

We, too, have children who can easily “fly under the radar,”  

go unnoticed and therefore,

not get their basic needs for love and affection met

because they don’t demand them like the other children might.

Homeschooling is definitely an advantage in a large family

because there are many more hours in the day to make connections with each child. 

Furthermore, there is more opportunity to become aware of what each child is good at.

 Brian and I believe that helping each one of our children be successful at something

is of critical value to their character,

whether it be a sport, a talent, or a skill, 

the daily discipline to become good at something, 

the dedication to persist, overcome challenges,

and commit to an end result has much merit. 

We look at each child and try to see what God has given them that they can be good at.  

By the time they are 10 or 12, we should have a good idea. 

Then, it is our responsibility to enable them to maximize their potential in that area. 

Every child is different. 

Not every one is going to be athletic, or musical.

 Our daughter Rose has a definite creative bone. 

When she was younger, we let her explore with drawing and painting. 

These were things she was interested in. 

Last year she discovered that she really likes to vent her creative streak through photography. 

My husband found her a download-able online course, 

we bought her a book, she rented some books from the library,

and a friend loaned her his very nice camera. 

When she is done with the photography course,

I will see if I can get her a day with a few different professional photographers that I know.

Our son John showed talent in wrestling when he was quite young. 

We tried to be the supportive parents, learn the sport, 

see him off to good camps and give him whatever helpful experiences we were able. 

His diligence to work hard and be the best he could be

has gained him some very excellent virtues that will carry him through life.

When I was growing up, my mom did the same for me with my love of horses. 

She did what she could to help me be successful in the show ring. 

Those years of hard work and diligence have given me a wealth of helpful training 

 that I consider is most pertinent to raising children. 

I also value the time she took with me in the truck, 

pulling the horse trailer all over the state. 

Those are good memories. 

That is probably another post all together.

It is very helpful for each individual child

to be important and significant in the realm of the family.

but even more so, to also discover their personal style and skill set that God has given them.  

This makes parenting all the more challenging, for sure. 

As a mama, I am realizing how very short my time with each one is before they are grown,

so what seems like a huge time investment now,

really isn’t all that much in the broader scope of things.  

Today, seeing our son John use many of the virtues he learned, 

and confidence he gained in wrestling, 

in the real world, 

tells me it was all worth it.

We have done many things wrong in our parenting,

but this, this is one thing I feel sure that we did right.

When I see a child that has gone unnoticed by his family,

who hasn’t a clue what he is good at, 

who feels insignificant because really, he isn’t successful at anything.

I see, especially in young men, a lack of confidence,

  insecurity, even a depressed state,

 and I feel sorry for the poor fellows. 

If only they had had more parental guidance and one on one time, 

perhaps they would be the leaders this next generation needs so desperately.

Not By Chance, But Chosen

Just think, you're here not by chance, but by God's choosing.

His hand formed you and made you the person you are.

  He compares you to no one else-

you are one of a kind.

 You lack nothing that His grace can't give you.

He has allowed you to be here at this time in history

to fulfill His special purpose

for this generation.

May your day be blessed 
with the knowledge of the special purpose God has for your life.

-Roy Lessin

You are chosen.

Wanted.

Loved.