Sunday, May 23, 2010

The Purpose Driven Wife

I am a driven woman.  I have noticed things about driven women, and I don’t like what I see.  
Driven wives are busy.  They are busy DOING.  They even pride themselves on not being lazy, like some people they know.  Productivity, you know, is next to godliness…or, maybe it is godliness, in her mind.  Many times, at the bottom of a driven woman’s heart is the desire to be worthy of love, to be pleasing to God.  As if God said somewhere in Scripture, I am impressed by what you do, therefore, go do good stuff.  When, in fact He says the exact opposite.
Jesus rebuked Martha in Luke 10:38-42 for being busy doing, anxious about many things.  He contrasted Martha with Mary, who was just sitting there visiting with Jesus, enjoying him.  Mary had chosen well, he said.  The lord is interested in relationship, not with “to do” lists.  This is something I struggle with, as would any driven woman.  In John 15, our purpose in this life is revealed.  It is to abide, not do.
Thanks to a true Titus 2 friend (bless you Linda)  I have a comparison list of a Driven Woman and an Abiding Woman.
  • God says, a woman who abides IS.  (Ps. 46:10:  Be still and know that I am God: )
  • A driven woman DOES.
  • An abiding woman pleases the lord  by who she is (Ps 147:11  The Lord take pleasure in them that fear him)
  • A Driven Woman tries to impress others, even God.
  • An Abiding Woman is controlled by the Holy Spirit (Gal. 5:22-26  The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, goodness, and faith)  
  • A Driven Woman is controlled by an agenda.  Her list rules her day, not her gentleness and flexibility.  An abiding woman may use a list or agenda, but, realizes it is a tool,  prioritizing people as more important than the project.
  • An Abiding woman finds her self worth in Christ.  (Eph 2:10  for we are his workmanship created in Christ Jesus)
  • A Driven Woman finds her self worth in her accomplishments(clean house, well behaved children, etc)
  • An Abiding woman practices grace with herself and others.  (Eph. 4:32  And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you)
  • A Driven Woman expects perfection from herself and others.
  • An Abiding Woman teaches her children to be Godly (Prov 22:6  Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it)
  • A Driven Woman trains her children to be good.
  • An Abiding Woman‘s perspective is based on what is unseen.  (Col 3:2  Set your affections on things that are above not on things on the earth.)  Meaning, it is ETERNAL things of this world that matter, all else will pass away, and her life reflects this priority.
  • A Driven Woman’s perspective is based on what is seen.  She is distracted by the urgent, the temporal, and gets bogged down by tending to these things above the eternal things.  She will even validate her actions by reminding herself that “the Proverbs 31 woman was industrious.”  and “ the Proverbs warns of a sluggard” and, cleanliness is a Biblical principle.  I know, I have done it, said it, believed it.
The Truth set me free, when speaker Muriel Cook said, “God stated that he was pleased with Jesus before Jesus did anything.” (Luke 3:22)  Jesus had not contrived one miracle, had not converted anyone, he was just a carpenter, just a son.
 Sister, if you have identified yourself too much with the driven woman, God loves you and is pleased with you because you are his child.  Not because of anything you do, how well you keep house, how good your kids are,  how gifted  or skilled you are.
  I encourage you to be still.
      To quietly slow down your pace, enjoying the beauty in each moment.
            To make the eternal your priority, your focus.
                      Your vision.
                            To simplify your daily activities, not just taking time to Abide, but make Abiding your new lifestyle.
It is a gracious way of living that exudes from your quiet heart.  A way that promotes peace in your house, relationship with your family, and contentment to your soul.   Choose the better part.  Mary did, and I doubt she ever regretted it.


  1. Thank-you for this post.
    I just found your blog yesterday, through Ann Voskamp . I find myself devouring it :0) Thank-you for heading God's teaching and then telling us about what you have learned. Your words are balm to this woman's soul!
    Carin in Bolivia


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