Thursday, September 23, 2010

The Wife's Part

Every wife and Mother celebrates great joys in life as well as facing challenges of every kind and size.  
Often times, no sooner does every thing come together, than everything seems to fall apart, 
and you find yourself at ground zero...again.
  Some days you may just get tired of picking up the pieces, and feel like running away. 
 Such was my story for years. 
 When my hard working husband did finally get home,
 I was ready to throw the children at him and disappear for a good long while.  
I hated that fact, but it was real and I did not know how to get past it,
 until an honest friend came along and told me what the problem was. 
 It wasn't that I had my hands too full, 
or that my husband expected too much,
 or that I wasn't capable of raising children and homeschooling,
 it was just that there was way too much of ME going on and way too little of Jesus.  

About this time I read a quote in an Above Rubies Magazine that has stuck with me like a burr, 
yes, a painful burr.
  Serene Allision said, "When I think too much about myself, I lose my joy."

My honest and loving friend basically gave me a kick in the rear end 
and told me to make my home what I dreamed and fantasized it to be,
 a happy and loving home,
 where the mama is not yelling or frenzied,
 where the children get along and obey,
 and a haven where my husband wants to be.  
I began to see that the only thing getting in the way of those ideals 
was my selfishness and slothfulness to do what I knew was right.

Every day, a woman has the choice to make; 
whether she will lay down her desires and serve her family, as unto the Lord. 
 She must will to do the necessary whether she feels like it or not. 
 Her priority must become the eternal result of her children's souls 
and the accountability to stand before God and give account for her days. 
 Sounds awful, doesn't it?
But it wasn't. 
 It was the most freeing, joyous, satisfying thing I could have possibly done. 
 Difficult, yes.
  I had to continually lay down my selfish desire to want to do what I felt like,
 instead of what I should do.  
It was just plain hard... at first. 
 And then it began to be easier. 
 And one day, I awoke and was glad, 
instead of my usual: "O GOD!!! Help, it is another DAY!!!"

I am looking at that time now as the proverbial transition of labor to which birthed a gentle and quiet spirit.  Just like a sweet new bundle of blessing from heaven, it was so well worth it,
not just for me, but for the whole family.

Dear wives and mothers, saying "no" to the flesh is more rewarding than you can possibly imagine,
 worth the brief battle,
 worth the peace and joy you now long for,
 the serene home that eludes you. 
 Lay down your flesh, it is not doing a very good job anyway, is it? 
Let the Spirit of God fill you and flow through you. 
 You see, you do not need to become more patient,
 you need to get out of the way
 and let God's perfect patience flow through you to your family.  
Lay down the anger,
 rebuke it,
 rid yourself of it once and for all. 
That anger is not God working in you, but the enemy. 
Cast it off like a coat full of lice.
  Every morning, dying to the ugly self
and filling up with a fresh dose of Holy Spirit is the only way to become godly, to live a holy life.

 My prayer is that you will humbly begin today,
 even now,
 and experience the fullness of life, motherhood, and marriage
 that God ordained for you and those you love.

"The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly ." (John 10:10, KJV)

"For to be carnally minded is death; but to be spiritually minded is life and peace." (Romans 8:6, KJV)

May God led, guide, and affirm you in the sacred calling of motherhood and help-meet.

"I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me." (Galatians 2:20, KJV)


  1. Oh please please tell me how. I only have 5 sons but they are so very hard. If I am breaking up a fight between two,then the others start. I feel so overwhelmed and angry all the time. I cant enjoy my children and I know they cant enjoy me yelling all the time.

  2. I'd like you to know that I very much appreciate your posts. :-) I know I've said that and I don't want to come across as a weird stranger...but I am a homeschool mom, youth pastor's wife, and part time children's director at our church. I wish I had a woman in my life who could speak into it like you said your friend did. I don't really have an older mom who I can go to. I tend to be the one that other's come to and I for sure don't have all the answers. I've enjoyed reading your posts so much and seeing that it is possible to transition to a gentle and quiet spirit. I'm by nature bubbly, loud, and exuberant and I know that's how God made me, but I also know there are many areas that I need to work on. Thank you for your words of wisdom through the screen. I appreciate them, I glean from them, I strive to be better because of them, I have hope that I too can have a gentle and quiet spirit and a flourishing marriage and family if I will allow God to do a work in me. Thank you. From across the miles....

  3. Blessed Mama,
    I am a very driven and spunky person by nature. The gentling has been a long process, as i tend to be a hard head, slow learner, the word "quiet" as used in most Bible passages means not anxious or worried. Anxiety and contentedness are always closely linked int he bible, such as Phil 4. Fo me to become quiet, I had to learn to completely trust God and live in him, instead of in my own strength. I am also a very opinionated person, and pat of the gentling has been learning to keep my mouth shut a good deal of the time. :-) I will be posting more on this soon, so keep in touch. Have you looked back in the archives and read the Purpose Driven Wife? Balancing ministry, family and home is a hard thing to learn....maybe I will post on that too. God bless ya!

  4. Anonymous,
    I would suspect that your anger is carrying over to your boys, and thus the fighting. Anger is very contagious.
    The Bible speaks of a "Spirit of fear," in the same way, I believe in a Spirit of Anger, which is not from God but the enemy. When you feel anger rise in you, rebuke it in Christ's name,("Spirit of Anger I rebuke you in the name and blood of Jesus Christ who has redeemed me, I do not want you, get away from me, and leave me alone.") I do not mean to sound fanatical, but have seen this simple act work in my own life and many others as well. BTW, I am NOT a Penticostal. :-) Try it, please. You may have to do it more than once. Pray every day for God to give you a gentle and gracious manner.
    Secondly, what is soothing to you? What music? What scriptures? Think about this and surround your day with things that calm you. A walk in the afternoon, or 15 minutes of quiet in your room...whatever refreshes and calms you, try to incorporate these things into your day, while you are focusing on God and being a calmer person. I would love to hear how these things are working for you, keep in touch.

  5. Thanks so much Julianne - this word is so welcome to me.


Your comments and input are very much appreciate
- Blessings!

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