The largest snowflakes I have ever seen fell in swirling, whirling masses
for hours and hours today.
Like grace.
We sat gathered in the kitchen just this morning,
grieving, weeping together over the rubble of yesterday's grief,
this whole last week's grief.
It followed us everywhere,
We could not shake it. We desired to escape it, somehow.
We all felt the need to get away from it.
We could not GO anywhere, for the season's worst blizzard was upon us,
the van is broke down so that we can not all travel together, and there was work to be done at home.
We could not GO.
As if Going would help.
What we really needed was grace to fall upon us,
and to worship in it as it fell,
like our son Jim who, with uplifted face greeted the huge snowflakes in enraptured delight.
We listened to music, we read, we were quiet.
And then, gathered at the family table for dinner once again, the grace piled up deep,
like the snow outside, knee deep and then some.
What pure JOY to sit down together, sing, pray, give thanks, and enjoy our meal.
Gratitude brings life, enriches life.
I think that gratitude is the blood of emotional well being.
To be ungrateful is to invite insanity.
To be grateful is to live abundantly, even amidst grieving.
Or maybe it is the way to overcome grief.
Family life should be a healing balm to the wounds and suffering of this world.
The gathering at the table is the pinnacle of our day,
where we all join in worship, talk over the day, laugh, teach, and love.
I have done it before,
mistaken the calling to worship for the urgency to GO, Do.
But grace got in the way, and the call to go was heard as the call to worship.
Therein, gratitude begat joy.
Joy begat the final healing.
I am thankful for the storm and the broken van that kept us home today.
Our Heavenly Father is so good to give us what is good for us, at just the right time.
So often we think we want something different, but he knows better.
"Show me your ways O lord, guide me in truth."
Psalm 25:4,5
Praying for you Julianne and your family!
ReplyDeleteSo beautiful, Julianne. Thank you for taking the time to articulate this true thing, the mistaken urge to GO rather than to worship, our need to let grace fall and heal, and our need to gather around the table after a day of grieving and grace. Your blog blesses yet again!
ReplyDeleteI sometimes visit your blog for the music :O) I love George Winston...it was funny because listening to "Hummingbird" I could easily imagine snowflakes swirling peacefully and playfully through the sky to land on little noses, decorate the trees, and make the landscape look pure and clean (I am certain that there is a large amount of mud under our snow...but everything looks pretty right now!) Love you! TB
ReplyDeleteI like your comment about the urge to go being a call to worship. I will seek to remember.
ReplyDelete