Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Waves of Mercy

Life is not perfect,
even in my idealist world.
  However, the bumps are what you grow on.

When the baby, or toddler throws up on you just as you are getting into bed, 
and you begin to clean up and he does it again,
and you get into the shower with him, 
then settle him down in his bed and begin to clean up, again,
and proceed to have a night filled with a very agitated little one
who wants you and doesn’t at the same time, 
so you don’t sleep, again. 
And you awake late in the morning, because your dear sweet husband let you,
to him bringing you a cup of coffee,
only to find that your aching body is in protest upon the idea of getting up….
The only thing to do is run to God.
"Abba, daddy, please help me! 
I cannot do this, physically I am wasted,
emotionally I am drained,
and I haven’t even gotten out of bed yet.
I have nothing to give today".

The psalmist knew my distress, he wrote my thoughts in Psalm 25.
"Unto thee O Lord do I lift up my soul.  Oh my God I trust in thee, let me not be ashamed, let not my enemies triumph over me.  Yea, let none that wait on thee be ashamed, let them be ashamed which transgress without cause.  Show me thy ways O Lord, teach me thy paths.  Lead me in thy truth and teach me, for thou art the God of my salvation, on thee do I wait all the day.  remember O Lord, thy tender mercies and thy lovingkindness, for they have been ever of old.....All the paths of the Lord are mercy and truth unto such as keep his covenant and his testimonies.....mine eyes are ever toward the Lord...let integrity and uprightness preserve me, for I wait on thee."

I am not alone. 
Many, many others have known such distress and emptiness of strength
that the thought of going on seemed impossible at the moment. 
But as those who’ve gone before us,
let us leave to those behind us,
the heritage of faithfulness passed on through godly lives.
  O may all who come behind us find us faithful. 
May the fire of our devotion light our way. 
May the footprints that we leave,
lead them to believe,
and the lives we live inspire them to obey
…o may all who come behind us find us faithful.”

The lines to this song make me think of Sarah Edwards, 
who most certainly had trials similar to the one I  face today,
yet, I picture her not merely trudging on, 
but being lifted up by holy empowerment
as she trusted God to meet her EVERY need.
She is the faithful who inspire me. 
If she did it, then I can too, by God’s grace.
In this inspiration, I am transported. 
God is faithful,
He will not require something that is impossible for me, he will lift me up. 
I skip the second cup of coffee I was contemplating,
and set the table for breakfast. 
It is almost 10 am. 
I will wait on God, in whom I have put my trust. 
He will supply my every need, 
He will lead me in paths of mercy.
  Waves of Mercy and Grace begin to sweep over me as I trust him,
even in this very moment.